Torn between


My dearest readers,

The past month has been a very busy one with me trying to balance out my work and studies and spirituality, a handful to deal with. By God’s grace alone, I’ve been able to manage so far.

I miss the times when I was able to post to this blog once or twice a week. I once was a free soul with no burdens, and now the tidal wave of life has hit me right in the face. I consider myself unworthy of calling myself an adult, but the reality is that I am, in fact, an adult who has to deal with real life problems and concerns.

Now setting all that aside, I do try my best to make time for myself to read the Bible and think about God and pray to Him constantly.

I feel like a horrible person sometimes, knowing that I am often too tired at the end of a long day to sit down and focus on a deep prayer. But I still pray as much as I can, and constantly I speak to Him in my heart. If the Lord has shown me anything, it is that He still hears my prayers.

Just the little things that He does in my favor while I am in trouble or when I am worried helps me refocus on Him. I hate it when I realize that the academic pursuits that I love sometimes lure me away from my personal time with God. But I am trying to improve now.

The only reason I am alive at the moment, typing these words on this keyboard, is because of God, and forever and ever I will, and have no choice BUT to be thankful to Him!!

I try to put everything in perspective when I lose my focus. Have any of you had to deal with the same issue? I believe that being honest and confessing out loud is the true mark of a person who loves God, and right now I am confessing before everyone that I sometimes feel so overwhelmed by worldly problems that I find little time to indulge in His presence.

BUT, like I was saying, I try to put everything into perspective when I start to lose focus. I am studying hard because having a good job may give me access to better resources that I could use for His glory. My ultimate aim is to glorify His name, to bring as many souls to Him as possible, and to spread the word of His coming.

If you are like me, feeling torn sometimes between your desire for God and your worldly burdens of everyday life, don’t feel down. God understands everything. All you have to do is refocus your aim on Him, and live life constantly remembering how pointless all worldly achievements are.

None of what we accomplish here in this short period of time will matter once we hit eternity! While we are here on earth, let us try our best to be as close to God as possible, to try to improve ourselves according to the exemplary life lived by Jesus Christ Himself, and to bring Him with us in our hearts no matter where we go.

Let us live to where His divine light shines through us and captures those around us! His true presence within you WILL show the world that there is something different about you.

God bless everyone!

Feel free to email me with any prayer requests or concerns:

steny8295@yahoo.in

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